Part Ninety-two
Feb. 18th, 2025 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
luthier_balloonistOriginally posted here
Kay had felt rather cowardly for hoping that Eder wouldn't show up that evening, but he couldn't help it; meeting Barir's friends, being amongst the company of strangers, letting those strangers know his most dangerous and intimate secret (even if it was one they shared) was already setting his nerves on edge. He was very, very aware of everything: every noise, of Barir's hand on his knee, of the material of his shirt against his skin. He had tried to concentrate on the conversation at the table and not to stare like some green boy at the easy way the other men in the place touched one another, at the casual kisses, at the fellows perched in one another’s laps, fingers stroking sweetly along necks and arms, and all of it in the open, by bright gaslight. It was wonderful, and it was terrifying.
The last thing he needed was to try and be diplomatic with Eder when Eder had, quite uncharacteristically, taken umbrage with him. But he could hardly avoid matters now, and Barir wanted him to make amends, and so he strode determinedly across the pub to where Eder was staring at him, looking rather paler than usual.
“Hullo, Eder,” Kay tried.
Eder swallowed visibly and stepped closer. “What the devil are you doing here?” he said in a loud whisper.
“I—” Kay sighed. He took Eder’s elbow and steered him to a quieter part of the room. He was very aware of Barir looking towards them. “I'm here with Rizvi. With Barir.”
“But you're… you're not…” Eder waved a hand, as though he could snatch the word out of thin air. The other hand, Kay noticed, he kept still. Presumably his injury still bothered him.
“An invert?” Kay suggested wryly. “A Mary-Ann? A Uranian? I'm afraid I am.”
Eder's expression was one Kay could not read. He thought the man looked, if anything, hurt. “You never said.”
“Why would I? I considered it private.”
“Well, yes, but – dash it, Tumoe, I know I've been less than discreet around you at times, and honestly I thought well of you, because you didn't seem to care. But we could have had a little, I don't know, solidarity.”
Kay was baffled by this. “What would we have done? Compared notes? You know that's not my way, man.”
“No,” said Eder, rather coldly. “It's not, is it? And yet you're here with Rizvi? Are you two…”
“Yes.” Quite what he and Barir were Kay wasn't sure, but he suspected that was the correct answer nonetheless.
“Well. I needn't have bothered warning him off you all summer, apparently. You be good to that man, Tumoe. He's a sweetheart, and doesn't deserve someone who's going to bark at him.”
A little guilt crept into Kay's stomach. “Look, Eder. Dammit man, you know what I'm like. You've never taken offence before. I'm sorry, truly, for overstepping.”
Eder folded his arms, wincing a little as he did so. “Do you know what you did, exactly?”
“Well, I suppose I was rather curt with you. Quite why this particular case was worse than any other I don’t know, but I certainly didn’t intend to upset you.”
Eder sighed. “You never intend to, of course. But for God’s sake, you can’t just treat people as poorly as you please and just expect them to remain cheerful with you. Not everybody can be Amador. And don’t say that you don’t expect it,” he added, when Kay opened his mouth, “because you do. I was concerned for you the other night, you complete ass, and you just bit my head off.”
For a moment Kay weighed up what to say. Eder still had his arms folded, his expression pinched and unhappy, far from the open warmth Kay usually expected of him. Kay determinedly did not look over at Barir, though he wished very much that he were not in this busy and noisy pub. Apologise, perhaps Barir had said.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” he said abruptly. “Truly. I took my foul mood out on you. And perhaps I should have shared this with you, before. I’ve been trying to think how to tell you for days, in truth, and had no idea how to broach the subject.”
Eder seemed for a moment to try and maintain his glare, but his expression softened. “You’re an almighty prick,” he said, unfolding his arms and holding his uninjured hand. “But I’ll forgive you this time. Provided,” he added, as Kay went to take his hand, “that you buy me a drink.”
“Done.” Kay grasped Eder’s cool palm in a firm shake.
“Excellent.” The familiar smile was back on Eder’s face as he moved towards the bar. “I cannot believe you’ve been a degenerate all this time. The amount of effort I expounded on shooing Rizvi away from you! I could have saved myself a great deal of frustration by locking you both in a dressing room.”
Kay remembered, very vividly, being locked in a dressing room with Barir. He kept his expression as blank as possible. “That will teach you not to be such a busybody,” he said.
Eder laughed and clapped him on the back. Kay let him; across the room Barir gave him a smile and raised his glass in a salute. Kay couldn’t help but smile back.
“You’ll join us, of course?” he asked Eder as they waited to be served.
“Don’t strain yourself too much with that politeness,” said Eder. “But certainly. I want to talk to Rizvi. Cecil might be along later; you must be nice. He’s been very put out with you for upsetting me, you know. He’s rather protective.” He said this in an amused, fond voice, a ridiculously soft look on his face that Kay very much hoped he never emulated.
“I’ll buy Cecil the drink of his choice. How about that?”
“Oh, then you’ll be right back in his good books. Come on then, I need to have a proper talk with your chum.”
Kay had felt rather cowardly for hoping that Eder wouldn't show up that evening, but he couldn't help it; meeting Barir's friends, being amongst the company of strangers, letting those strangers know his most dangerous and intimate secret (even if it was one they shared) was already setting his nerves on edge. He was very, very aware of everything: every noise, of Barir's hand on his knee, of the material of his shirt against his skin. He had tried to concentrate on the conversation at the table and not to stare like some green boy at the easy way the other men in the place touched one another, at the casual kisses, at the fellows perched in one another’s laps, fingers stroking sweetly along necks and arms, and all of it in the open, by bright gaslight. It was wonderful, and it was terrifying.
The last thing he needed was to try and be diplomatic with Eder when Eder had, quite uncharacteristically, taken umbrage with him. But he could hardly avoid matters now, and Barir wanted him to make amends, and so he strode determinedly across the pub to where Eder was staring at him, looking rather paler than usual.
“Hullo, Eder,” Kay tried.
Eder swallowed visibly and stepped closer. “What the devil are you doing here?” he said in a loud whisper.
“I—” Kay sighed. He took Eder’s elbow and steered him to a quieter part of the room. He was very aware of Barir looking towards them. “I'm here with Rizvi. With Barir.”
“But you're… you're not…” Eder waved a hand, as though he could snatch the word out of thin air. The other hand, Kay noticed, he kept still. Presumably his injury still bothered him.
“An invert?” Kay suggested wryly. “A Mary-Ann? A Uranian? I'm afraid I am.”
Eder's expression was one Kay could not read. He thought the man looked, if anything, hurt. “You never said.”
“Why would I? I considered it private.”
“Well, yes, but – dash it, Tumoe, I know I've been less than discreet around you at times, and honestly I thought well of you, because you didn't seem to care. But we could have had a little, I don't know, solidarity.”
Kay was baffled by this. “What would we have done? Compared notes? You know that's not my way, man.”
“No,” said Eder, rather coldly. “It's not, is it? And yet you're here with Rizvi? Are you two…”
“Yes.” Quite what he and Barir were Kay wasn't sure, but he suspected that was the correct answer nonetheless.
“Well. I needn't have bothered warning him off you all summer, apparently. You be good to that man, Tumoe. He's a sweetheart, and doesn't deserve someone who's going to bark at him.”
A little guilt crept into Kay's stomach. “Look, Eder. Dammit man, you know what I'm like. You've never taken offence before. I'm sorry, truly, for overstepping.”
Eder folded his arms, wincing a little as he did so. “Do you know what you did, exactly?”
“Well, I suppose I was rather curt with you. Quite why this particular case was worse than any other I don’t know, but I certainly didn’t intend to upset you.”
Eder sighed. “You never intend to, of course. But for God’s sake, you can’t just treat people as poorly as you please and just expect them to remain cheerful with you. Not everybody can be Amador. And don’t say that you don’t expect it,” he added, when Kay opened his mouth, “because you do. I was concerned for you the other night, you complete ass, and you just bit my head off.”
For a moment Kay weighed up what to say. Eder still had his arms folded, his expression pinched and unhappy, far from the open warmth Kay usually expected of him. Kay determinedly did not look over at Barir, though he wished very much that he were not in this busy and noisy pub. Apologise, perhaps Barir had said.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” he said abruptly. “Truly. I took my foul mood out on you. And perhaps I should have shared this with you, before. I’ve been trying to think how to tell you for days, in truth, and had no idea how to broach the subject.”
Eder seemed for a moment to try and maintain his glare, but his expression softened. “You’re an almighty prick,” he said, unfolding his arms and holding his uninjured hand. “But I’ll forgive you this time. Provided,” he added, as Kay went to take his hand, “that you buy me a drink.”
“Done.” Kay grasped Eder’s cool palm in a firm shake.
“Excellent.” The familiar smile was back on Eder’s face as he moved towards the bar. “I cannot believe you’ve been a degenerate all this time. The amount of effort I expounded on shooing Rizvi away from you! I could have saved myself a great deal of frustration by locking you both in a dressing room.”
Kay remembered, very vividly, being locked in a dressing room with Barir. He kept his expression as blank as possible. “That will teach you not to be such a busybody,” he said.
Eder laughed and clapped him on the back. Kay let him; across the room Barir gave him a smile and raised his glass in a salute. Kay couldn’t help but smile back.
“You’ll join us, of course?” he asked Eder as they waited to be served.
“Don’t strain yourself too much with that politeness,” said Eder. “But certainly. I want to talk to Rizvi. Cecil might be along later; you must be nice. He’s been very put out with you for upsetting me, you know. He’s rather protective.” He said this in an amused, fond voice, a ridiculously soft look on his face that Kay very much hoped he never emulated.
“I’ll buy Cecil the drink of his choice. How about that?”
“Oh, then you’ll be right back in his good books. Come on then, I need to have a proper talk with your chum.”
